We Can Be Better
Better Fathers, Better Partners
photo credit: Christian Sterk/Unsplash
Looking back over the last couple of years, how did you cope with those times when you had to be in the house 24/7? You may not have spent this much time with your partner in years …OR shared so much space with your kids since they were little.
Did you dive right in and love all of that time being together? Or did you create a bunker somewhere in your house, a grown-up version of a BOYS ONLY clubhouse?
Seriously, now that you have had some time to reflect, how ARE you doing? I really want to know.
Real talk: men find lots of ways to escape. It’s kind of our superpower.
Physically, we go out. We hunt. We play golf. We hang at work.
Emotionally, we check out. We game. We get lost in work. We smoke. We drink.
We are not used to being confined. We find ways to escape.
While the world was in lock-down and sheltering-in-place, where did you go to recharge your batteries?
Did you find yourself clawing at the door, itching to get out?
Maybe you distracted yourself with socially-acceptable activities like hobbies or exercise. I’m a big movie fan. Others got hooked on all kinds of media, collecting records, binging TV shows, etc.
Maybe your distractions are less acceptable. Maybe they are addictive. Men don’t die young for no reason. Trends like the spike in men committing suicides right now is scary. Many of us weren’t raised with a skill set to recognize our feelings. We certainly weren’t encouraged to process them in healthy ways. The way that we were socialized to be men is turning into a full-blown health crisis
When we don’t process our feelings, they can pile up and then trigger fight-or-flight reflexes. That’s why a lot of men blow up in anger or escape the situation.
I am hosting a conversation each week for men to share how we’re adapting to life as emotionally intelligent beings. Before your new escape becomes your new normal, ask yourself if you want more tools to:
slow down and yell less
become more resilient to a downturn in your mood
give and receive love more freely
be happier
Take an extra look at how you take care of yourself. How do you respond to the people who love you? Telling your story may even inspire others. Are you looking for a safe space to share it? Come join our conversation. We meet on zoom on Monday nights (7:30pm EST) for 75 minutes. The first two sessions are free and then there is a monthly membership.
If you’re like me, this kind of conversation sounds attractive and scary at the same time. Obviously, we need places to process what we are feeling if we are going to be better fathers and partners. But it can be hard to feel safe in a group of guys.
I will make sure that this is a safe space where we can help each other be better.
Fill out the form below if you’re interested.
Sincerely,
Robert
P.S. If you are like most men I know, you want to keep from passing down the way you were raised to your sons and daughters and gender-nonconforming kids. If fathering differently is a top priority for you, please join us.