Wrapped in Fear
The car was nearly out of control, driving downhill too fast. For some reason, she wasn’t hitting the brakes as she yanked the wheel to the left for the next turn. Just as the car started to lift onto its side and veer toward the curb, she woke up.
It was one of those dreams that hit too close to daylight to let her settle back into rest. Janae couldn’t get the feeling of going too fast out of her mind, the image of the road, the lack of friction.
photo credit: Bruce Christianson/Unsplash
Yesterday, Janae woke with so much optimism. Why was she suddenly in the opposite mood, disheartened and stressed? She couldn’t shake the fear from the dream.
That danger of going too fast in her dream connected with her daylight fear about launching her new side hustle, giving writers the resources they need to freelance as copywriters. She doubted herself most days. Her progress felt slow. Janae felt like she was running out of time.
Lying in bed, still wrapped in fear from the dream, Janae thought about how some days felt like amateur hour, feeling every bump and dip in the road. Other days felt like she was gliding above it all. Yesterday, she woke up a world-killer. Today, she was pinned down by fear.
Janae forced herself to climb out of bed. It was hard to build her morning routine at first. When Janae learned about Positive Psychology at super.BUILD, she learned how to leverage her keystone habit (meditating) to build a routine that allowed her to flex her superpower of creativity.
She knew what she needed to do: start writing.
Janae unfurled her yoga mat. She had been doing a few sun salutations before meditating every morning for the last few years. Her morning routine helped “ground” her and created a space for writing in the morning.
Why work so hard to write in the morning? Because starting the day with personal writing allowed Janae to exercise her superpowers of creativity and honesty and bravery. The biggest takeaway from the Positive Psychology program she took was how to flex her superpowers. Janae soon learned what the Psychologist meant by the “upward spiral” she could achieve by practicing her signature character strengths.
This morning, through her routine, Janae slowly came back to her authentic self. She put her internal resistance in perspective. She recalled other days like this in her past, going from graceful and easy to slow and fearful. She had been up and down in the same pattern before but was still able to move forward.
Janae remembered that, on good days and bad days, she had the same friends to support her, the same assets and superpowers, and the same ambition and drive. She was the same Janae reflected in the eyes of those she loved, both on days when she felt paralyzed as much as those days she felt ready to slay.
When Janae sat down to write, she soon came face-to-face with the thing that she was avoiding.
Honesty and bravery led her to see that she was hesitating to set up her business page on FB. Her internal resistance was keeping her playing small. But how was she going to succeed if no one knew she could help them? She had prepared all the elements for the page but seemed to be waiting for permission to take the leap.
Then Janae remembered a quote the Positive Psychologist shared, to just “sit down shamelessly and write the thing yourself.” She didn’t need someone else to grant her the strength. Her rough morning gave her a fresh perspective on her resistance. Instead of waiting longer, Janae just gave herself the permission to launch the business page.
A few days later, Janae was surprised at how much positive feedback she had received on her new page. Remembering her dream and what she learned about herself, she knew what she needed to do to keep moving forward. With new courage, Janae turned to face the daily challenge to keep showing up, fighting the resistance to play small.
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NEXT UP:
Find Your Tribe (Build Your Support Team) on March 3rd
AND
Let it GO! (Stop Giving a HOOT About What Other People Think) on March 4th